L.I.F.E.

 Hello there. It's been a while, feels like forever yet it's just an insignificant small amount of time. Smaller than our importance in the cosmos.

 I'm getting tired, that's all. I guess. Tired of... Being tired. Of everything. But mostly myself and the world itself.

 I look outside the window to see the rest of the world, can't stand my face anymore (need a makeover quite some years now but that's another thing to talk about another time). And what do I see? What does anybody see?

 First of(f) i checked the window, it's clean as a whistle. Unlike us and our souls, or most of us at least.

 It's been something like 10 years now, i read Erich Fromm's "To have or to be" and i understood (where is my cookie?!) how this world functioned, how WE humans to be more accurate. Few wanted knowledge, most wanted full bookshelves, few wanted true fucking love, most (of us - me included 2 times) wanted lovers.

 The world was a collection of collection. Needed desires and desired needs, for most.

 Then i read "The society of the spectacle" by Guy Debord. No longer JUST the collection was enough, no. One needed to show his collection(s). Attention whores in an abyssal brothel competing for not customers but reactions, likes and stuff.

 Then I realized more about everyone's own world. (Personal) Worlds within (our) world. Pretty much nothing is worth doing or being, unless it's shown somewhere. True goal? To become viral.

 Other peoples acceptance and opinion started matter too damn much, more than... well pretty much all else.

 So there are some options. You follow that road. Or you go elsewhere, with the few black sheeps. Or screw you guys I'm going home (i focus on my world- not me-).

 But how healthy is it to cut ties with the rest of the world and just live on your own (world or delusion)? Then again one might wonder is following others the healthy way?

 So you go elsewhere. Which might start from anywhere but it will lead to certain realization(s), have you indeed gone elsewhere and not just somewhere away.

 So what could life be all about? L.I.F.E.* Death is also interesting topic, another time, again.

 Can't say I know, I am still wandering in my thoughts like a whisper in a storm. However i can dare to say it's all about nothing.

 Nothing matters. Not me and my problems, not you and your ideas, nor someone "important" and his important impact on the world. The cosmos will continue with out us just like it has so far before us.

 So why not just die already? No need to prolong the inevitable, right? Hmm... Can't say I agree. I mean we are given a certain amount of time, or more precicely time is given us. Time was here before and will be afterwards, we count a small amount of time, time counts all of our amount.

 Find something interesting, something to make you forget a while, not completely(!), while you live, to do. Nature, animals, humans, science... It's all about balance. Remeber to enjoy while it lasts, don't forget it will end, nothing lasts forever. And wait. Till the time comes. It will.


* Loathing Is For Everyone
Kinda dedicating this to the sick minded preachers of this world, declaring they promote a healthy way of life. Well ladies and gentlemen the you have it, i present a healthy way of death. :P


Pavlos - vlospa kasbe

Sweet distraction

 Wandering the streets and wondering.
Maybe i don't carry a lamp but still...
Looking for humans.
Observing..
We breathe, have a pulse, thoughts and feelings.
But none of that matters.
Lost faith.
Life has never been fair. BIG news...
Need to keep focus. Focus on that, and.
The bell is ringing. Break time.
Happy for a while.
A comfortable lie.
Messes up my concentration.
My perception.
But luckily i escape.
Only i can fool myself.
And i fall back to the abyssal loop.
And remember to NOT lose focus.
Focus on "nothing matters".
Ask yourself in front of a mirror.
"What is important?"
Then ask the mirror.
"Why is it important?"
Got any answers?
Nah, huh?
Or did you activate your defense mechanisms?
To lose importance you must have it first.
Yet even importance is a human invention.


Pavlos - vlospa kasbe

same ol' sick

 The game is, still, the s(h)ame. Evolved methods of  tricking ourselves playing it though. Yet the same rotten foundation.

 We still care more about "What will the other people say about me/this/that" than actually ourselves, or finding who we are.

 I'm still too stupid young to notice the difference from more points of view. Yet, noticed that it's actually even worse than some years ago.

  More or less pretty much always we, human(wannabe)s, cared about "what others would say..." I remember some just didn't care, but most just wanted others to NOT say, a thing.

 Nowadays, most of us, want others to say. But not just something they want to say. No, no, nope!

 Want them to say what we want to hear them say. If not, well sorry, won't make it. Delete.

 Had this conversation today with a friend and (I) realized how much worse this is going with all the social media. The social media I will use to share these typed thoughts. 

pavlos - vlospa

 

Change

 Chff. Ffh.. Phuphh... Aah. And the change begins. Breath. The first distinct change. Afterwards perception.

 If I'm outside, about everything, especially about nature, how it functions, the satisfaction of its needs and its importance.

 If I'm inside, about everything, especially about human. I think inwards. Body, mind, spirit.

 The spirit pushes the mind to push the body to function. Functionality of the organs, movement of limbs, breathing.

 Healthy body, open mind, clear spirit. Balance! Balance? ...

 Still ain't sure if I should (try to) totally get rid of my ego and all its traits.

 Not that I have succesfully managed it for more than a few times which lasted for small moments only.

 I am unable to understand, in order to explain and write down something that cannot be taught by words. HERE i draw the line between mind and spirit.

Pavlos - vlospa

In the begining there was...

 ...A breath. Breathe. Relax. Focus on your breathing. Open your eyes, then your brain and if you still feel like you should, your mouth. Control your breathing. Close your eyes and listen, let your thoughts be gone, listen. Listen but don't pay attention.

 Put your thoughts in order. Look for the right feeling. Concentrate. Open your eyes and see, without looking. Like a television when you constantly change channels without looking for a meaning.

 Get up. Go out! Take a thirsty deep breath, get lost in some forest or somewhere green. Talk to the plants you might take or replant, listen to the birds, dance in your mind to their song.

 Listen but don't think. Look. Look and imagine! What is everything, for you and all others, for earth, for god/ divine.

 Imagine what everything is and is not and what else it could be instead of what you perceive.


Pavlos - vlospa kasbe

no need no name

 It’s been a while. How much is a “while”, a “moment”? Who knows... All that time I was silent, had to deal the voices in my head. It’s ok to hear voices, the problem starts when you discuss with them. So yeah. Silence till they shut up.

 Was thinking about death, again and life of course, again. A friend died and today was a ceremony for him. Although distance between us, personally I think a last goodbye is the least one can and should do.

 We shared time and created moments which gave birth to feelings and their expressing. One should respect those moments and honor those feelings. If they were true, honestly genuine from the bottom of their heart.

 This I guess is what we might be doing here, now, us. Don’t know if we do it well though…
We wander this earth and on our journey meet others and share moments and feelings while wondering what it is we are doing here now, either we know we doing it or no.


Pavlos – vlospa kasbe

We got a winner

 Good day to you too. Back from limbo. It's been a while, huh? Only to cry once I open my eyes again. With what I see, with I (force myself to) face. It's a competition. It's a fight. To win, to lose and to remember, to forget.

  Aaand we go on, fighting (ourselves). Wining and losing, remembering and forgeting, bringing back to life and burying. Born to lose, live to win. So one dies fighting? At what cost does he win? What does he even win?

 One tries to find out who one really is. So damn hard and yet a fog of ego is blocking one's vision. The clearer it gets the more mistaken one sees one's self in the past. Would the child one be proud of who one is now, of who one became? I'm unable to imagine but i fear that, no. So, if no, would it still not be proud if he knew what one knows (sure, not much but still more than when he was a kiddo) now?

 Surgery takes place. Remembering old parts, aspects of one's self and adopting them again. Rejecting current and/or older versions of one. Trying again if maybe now. Maybe one feels now more like one? He feels like oneself? Or is temporary, another mistake until he finds even more knowledge, experiences, opinions ... ?

 That's all. One more question. And of course no answers. Or you think this was all about answers?


Παύλος - vlospa kasbe